1. It’s not only Friday: it is GOOD FRIDAY, which, although I am not religious in any specific way, is a holiday I can get behind. Who doesn’t like Good? Today has actually been really nice in a lot of ways, but mostly because my daughter and I went to have lunch with my mom at her new retirement community. With my dad away, it was just Us Gals. I have to tell you: if you’re having one of those parenting days where you are at the end of your rope and totally frazzled, just take your small child to a cafeteria full of seniors. You are instantly reminded of everything that is wonderful about children, even if your own has been a bit of a pill for the last few hours. I mean, it’s like coming in with a celebrity, I swear. When my daughter was spotted, conversations stopped. Wide smiles came over faces. Everyone was waving, saying hello. Of course, because this is MY kid, she responded by burying her face in my shirt (she’s a bit shy, I have no idea where THAT comes from) but it was still just so, so sweet. The whole time we were eating, I could feel people watching us with kind, happy expressions…which I tried to remember when she whined the whole way home. It helped.
2. Something else that will lift your spirits, always: listening to a happy song. My latest on repeat is, in fact, “Life’s a Happy Song,” from The Muppets. I bought it from iTunes JUST to have on hand when I need a quick jolt of everything good: Jason Segel, Kermit, Miss Piggy, and that plain old Muppet optimism. Sigh! Add in a pretty day to drive through and I’m almost manic. You have been warned.
3. This weekend is Easter, which means, among many other things, more candy. I swear, it was not until I had a child that I realized how many holidays are now candy-related. Valentine’s? Check. Easter? You bet. Christmas? Two words: candy cane. And then, the MOTHERLODE that is Halloween. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am far from anti-candy. But I can’t let my kid mainline it all year, that’s just irresponsible. So what I do is let her have some of whatever bounty she collects (more each holiday, I swear to you) then, after a few days, put it up high in a closet so she forgets about it. The flip side is that I, too, forget, only to find it months later, gathering dust and all sticky, and toss it. Until the NEXT holiday, when there’s even more to deal with. The only exception: Kit Kats and Reese’s Cups, which go into their own secret spot and do not stay there for long. And no, I am not telling you where that spot is. A mother needs her secrets. (Oh, dear, that sounded VERY Mommy Dearest, didn’t it? It’s the sugar, I swear to you.)
4. Is it just me, or is lately there, like, NOTHING on TV? It’s not Sweeps time, I know, but I feel like every night when we finally sit down to watch something, we can’t find anything but reruns of Intervention and the few reality shows I don’t like. I get the sense that a lot of shows just feel TIRED, except ones like NEW GIRL (which just gets better and better: come for Zooey, stay for Schmidt) and MODERN FAMILY. People keep telling me that I should be watching HAPPY ENDINGS, but the last time I tried it struck me as so crass. I know, I’m a total prude. I’ll give it another shot. But if it’s this bad now, what’s going to happen over the summer? Last night I found myself watching the Barrett-Jackson car auction with my husband, who was in HEAVEN, because there was absolutely nothing else. People, I cannot be watching car shows until September. This is serious. Help! (And please don’t tell me to turn off my TV and read, I promise you I am reading TONS—MR. FOX, HEFT on my iPad and GUTS on audio—but I need my shows, too. I’m only human. And kinda weak.)
5. Finally, something a bit more serious. Even as I write this, I feel like I may very well delete it and put something else about TV or food, something silly and easy. Because I worry that it makes me seem sort of nuts. But I think some of you out there might understand.
Back when I was pregnant in the summer of 2007, we made friends with another couple that was expecting around the same time. We hung out a bit, watched TV, compared plans and cravings, that sort of thing. My daughter was born in early September, and they came over to see and hold her. We were all so excited. Their baby was born a couple of weeks later and, for reasons that have never been clear, did not make it. I know. I know. The day I got the news I felt like the world just stopped.
And ever since, as my daughter has grown from an infant to a toddler to a rambunctious 4 year old, I have thought of them so much. On those days when my heart was just swelling with love for my kid…and on the ones where she’s driving me nuts. Every time I throw pennies in a fountain, they are among my first wishes. On stars, too. I can’t even explain it. They were trying for another baby, it wasn’t happening. They began an adoption process. The woman had a blog where she chronicled all her anguish and hope and fear and sadness, and I’d just read it when I was alone and cry. (See, this is why I thought I shouldn’t share this, but hang in there, if you would.) Occasionally we would see them, or they’d call, and I always felt so awful (I know it makes no sense, or maybe it does) that we had a baby and they didn’t. It was cruel and unfair and just mean of the world, and my heart broke for them, even though I am sure they never knew it.
Then, though, this spring, a friend of ours who was doing some work for them but didn’t know their whole story said to me, offhand, “You know, I think she’s pregnant.” I stopped where I was. “What?” I said. “Are you sure?” He nodded. “She’s showing…but she hasn’t said anything yet.” I could not believe it and did not want to get my hopes up, so kept reading her blog, throwing more pennies, wishing on more stars. And then, one day, she wrote an entry saying she was. Oh, my God. Like a million prayers, answered.
So here’s this woman that really doesn’t know me very well AT ALL anymore, and it’s ridiculous how invested I have become in her pregnancy (which is going great, no complications, a blessing for sure). I know she thinks I’m a total stalker freak because I comment on her blog and have already offered to walk their dog if they need it and bring food even though they haven’t seen me in months. I’m like some crazy person. But the due date is coming ever closer, and even though I know everything will be fine I just…oh, man. I just have never prayed so hard for anyone in my life. Bad things happen all the time: I know that. But when there’s a chance for something really, really good to occur to someone who deserves it, who has had the hardest time….that’s when I have to believe that good things, and great things, happen too.
I don’t think she reads my blog or even knows I have one and I probably shouldn’t be writing about this anyway. But on this weekend of Easter, with their baby almost full term, I have so much hope, hope, hope for them and everyone else who needs it. I am thinking the best thoughts, wishing on all the stars, emptying my pockets of coins into fountains. It’s just time. Come on, universe. You can do this.
Have a great weekend, everyone.
I’ll keep them in my thoughts, too. Then they’ll have more positive energy in the world. And I’ll tell my mom. Then it’ll be MORE positive energy and at least three crazy women out there pulling for them. We shouldn’t feel crazy, though. We’re human, and it’s beautiful to be able to connect with someone so much. Restores faith in people, I think. Thanks for being so open hearted.
Awhh. The last one was so sweet!
As a woman currently pregnant for the first time, and with twins, I’m sending her tons of positive thoughts. Reading this, sitting at my desk at work, I almost started crying.
I’m sending her positive energy as well!
Oh my gosh, that last one was so sweet, thank you so much for being so open hearted about something that touches you so much. I’ll defiantly be praying for them! I’ve known so many people that have lost their children, my mother being one of them. I’ll be praying for them very strongly, they defiantly sound like the kind of people that deserve it. Thanks for sharing Sarah!
Watch Big Bang Theory. It never disappoints.
I think your last entry was so sweet and perfect for the Easter weekend. Certain people come across our paths that leave a huge impact without them even realizing it. I love those moments and will be saying a prayer her baby is born in perfect health
Wonderful, wonderful! Loved this entry.
I will pray for her right now! I am passionate for life, and will pray for a safe completion of pregnancy and delivery. Have a great weekend!
Give the show “Bent” a try…stars Amanda Peet. And if you’re reduced to car shows, at least turn on Top Gear BBC America, family fun entertainment along with car info.
I’ve been reading your blog for awhile now, and I must say that this entry really moved me deeply. I wish I could write as well as you do one day.
Best wishes for the couple!
Sarah:
I love your blog and read it all the time. I’ve never commented before but this post made me want to write something. I found out I was pregnant at the same time as my best friend. We grew up together and we’re beyond excited that our children would now be growing up together. Four and a half months into my pregnancy, I miscarried. I don’t want to be a pity case, that is my biggest worry. But at the same time, knowing that people care is so important. And your post reminded me that people do care about the loss that others experience. The fact that you have been quietly supporting your friend and feeling the pain of her loss is such a kind sentiment. I hope she knows how much you cared…and maybe you should reach out to her. I’m sure she would love to hear from you.
You’re an amazingly strong woman and I admire the fact that you had the strength to write about your experience.
Try watching Smash…I’ve quickly become addicted.
Loved your last comment so glad you didn’t replace it with something easy and silly. I love your writing because you obviously are a strong believer in happy endings. I’m hoping for a happy ending for your friends as well.
all the best and fingers/toes crossed to your friend/neighbour/acquaintance.
In TV, have you looked at GCB yet? I’m finding it lots of fun.
What a wonderful story. I have lit a candle (it’s what I do) for that precious baby and her mom. They are lucky to have you stalking them.
Pray pray pray…my step brothers girlfriend was almost full term and HD contractions but they couldn’t find the heartbeat and the hospital made her give birth to a stillborn. Itcruhed my dad. Loss is never a happy subject. Find that woman and just givehrr a big huh….on a lighter note glee will start up again. 2 broke girls is really funny. Once upon a time and Grimm are good too
I completely understand how you feel about your friend’s pregnancy. When I was pregnant with my first (who turns 11! next week), my cousin’s cousin was pregnant also, due within a few weeks of my baby. About six weeks before my baby was born, she lost hers (also for reasons that were never clear to me). I think of them often, especially at milestones, and was thrilled each time they had a healthy child (they have two now). I think that being pregnancy “peers” really bonds you.
On a happier note … I’m pretty sure you adore Kyle Chandler as much as I do. And thank you SOO much for getting me hooked on Friday Night Lights, which became one of my favorite shows ever. To return the favor – have you ever seen Homefront? It ran for two seasons in the early 90s, and was set in Ohio right as WWII ended. Kyle Chandler starred. You should check it out – I think you’ll love it. It was never released on DVD so YouTube is the only place to find it now, but it’s worth watching even with the low quality of some of the episodes. I watched it in the 90s (you and I are the same age) but apparently didn’t see all of the episodes, and was thrilled to catch them all recently while I rode my exercise bike. LOL
Your blog entries are always so inspiring! I loved your posts about your friend with the baby and your own story with your toddler at the retiring home.
I have also just purchased “Life’s A Happy Song” from iTunes, inspired by you. Hopefully it will help! Now I know why you are such an amazing author: it’s because you relate so SO well to other people. <3
BTW if you're looking for shows, Glee comes back next week, and Happily Divorced with Fran Drescher is super funny.
You have a daughter, so you’ll find this show VERY entertaining. Its on ABC, its called The Middle. Its like modern family, but a little more focused on family drama. VERY funny
Also, a great show for the whole family is Americas Funniest Home Videos. Just don’t eat or drink while you watch…
HAPPY EASTER!!!!
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SARAH!!! i am so excited for your new book! Mainly because May 2013 will be my last summer before i go to college – similar to the character in your new book! i can’t wait!
Hi Sarah! Right before I read your blog last night, I watched the movie Up! with my family. Up! is an amazing but sad animated movie that came out in 2010 I believe. I would recommend waiting a few more years before showing it to Sasha if you do. In the movie, the main character, Carl, is unable to have children with his wife. After reading your blog and seeing Up!, it reminds me just how important family truly is! For your friend, I hope and pray for a healthy delivery! I was devastated reading she lost her baby
Every person in the world should have the ability to have a family! Family=love=life. Stay stong <3 your fans are here for you and your friend
I like what you said in #5.
I highly recommend “Castle”! : ) If you enjoy the “dance” of a good TV relationship, check it out. Better yet get the DVDs and start from Season 1, it’s really good to have all the ins and outs of a complex and compelling relationship like theirs.
You won’t believe this….. I watched The Muppets TODAY. I got the video for Easter.
Happy Easter!
Sarah, I follow you on twitter and tumblr and this blog (since around the movie How to Deal came out). I’ve always felt that you shared so much, but #5 on your list just proves you have a bigger life than what you share – and that’s good. Thanks for sharing part of it.
My sister just annouced she’s expecting her first child this December! I’m going to be an aunt at nineteen! Thinking about you and your friend. As that girl in Juno said: All babies want to be born! I know you like that movie
I’d try Mad Men on amc. Only you’d have to start from season 1. You’ll be lost if you jump right in.
I will be thinking positive thoughts for the couple!
as for TV….SMASH!! it is seriously the best show on TV right now!! not over the top singing (only about 3 songs per show) and such a great story line!!
Hi Sarah,
One, a show you might like is Switched at Birth. It’s very character-driven and it reminds me of Friday Night Lights in some ways. Two, it’s so sweet that you care about that family’s fate – I should try to me more like you
And three… can you tell us more about your new book??
Kelsey
One of my teacher from high school got pregnant last year and I felt so invested in her pregnancy because we talked about it all the time. I was so excited when her baby girl was born a month ago because I felt like I was already a part of her life. Two weeks ago, I found out that the baby girl died in the hospital and I was shocked and completely caught off guard. I’ve been trying to send as much support and love to my teacher as I can, but I’m so sad and I don’t really know how to deal with this situation. I’ll be praying for your friend and her baby, because no one should ever have to bury their child.
I think you said you gave up on Grey’s a while ago, but you should give it another try…I know it was bad for a while but it has REALLY picked up again.
For TV shows, I highly recommend Once Upon A Time and Big Bang Theory
Was the baby okay??
Grey’s Anatomy and Bones are good shows:)
Will be praying for their family! A blessing in disguise….;)