There’s entirely too much about Paris Hilton on the internet. In fact, there’s too much of Paris EVERYWHERE. But still, I could not resist sharing this. Oh, my. See? You can be rich and beautiful and still have grammar issues. Lacking apostrophes knows no color or class, people.

I read recently that Paris wants to trademark “That’s hot,” as her signature catchphrase. Does that mean that anytime anyone else uses it, they have to pay her money? Or just that we have to think of her when saying those two words? If so, maybe we should all get into this business. Surely I have a personal catchphrase I could market. Let me think: what do I find myself saying on a regular basis?

Well, there’s *&^%$#@!, but I think that, and all its variations, are probably impossible to patent, as they belong to everyone. Maybe “Monkey, no!” although that’s not very interesting, not even to my dog Monkey, who completely ignores me when he hears it. My students would probably pick either “People, work with me here!” or “You have most of your story, there’s just a little bit below the surface, you have to bring it up.” My husband would say that my most common utterances are, “Noooooo,” (usually in response to being asked to do any kind of housework) or “Oh, come on, just watch a little of (insert chick flick/ O.C. episode here), I bet you’ll like it!” None of these, however, are anywhere near as catchy as “That’s hot!” or, um, “Thats hot.” Maybe something good will come to me eventually.

Speaking of being patient, I am feeling a bit more holiday-ish today, mostly because yesterday I went and bought a Christmas tree. I went to this lot in Carrboro owned by a man named Johnny, who knows my husband. I asked him if he had any small trees, and he nodded and walked me back to the end o of the lot. I said, “I wasn’t even going to get a tree this year,” and he said, “You gotta get a tree. If you don’t, whatcha gonna put your lights on?” Good point. Anyway, I ended up with a serious Charlie Brown tree, twelve dollars, tiny and scraggly. I love it. I put about ten ornaments on it and it’s cluttered, plus my angel has it tipping sideways. It’s so ugly it’s cute. And you know what that is: That’s hot!

(Okay, so it sounds a little odd. I’m working on it.)

Have a good day everyone!