So I didn’t watch the Primetime Live special about American Idol last night (and from what I’ve seen this morning while trolling the internet I didn’t miss much). Instead, I watched America’s Next Top Model (down to four girls now!) and then the Idol results show, where I felt really bad for Scott when he was told to go to the couch and he did his trademark kiss-the-fingers-thank-God thing, only to find he was actually in the bottom two. See, the couch was always where they sent the SAFE people before. Aha! It was a FOX Gotcha! So sneaky. I bet it’s someone’s actual job to sit in a cubicle every week and think of new ways to tell people they’re going home. Talk about bad karma. Personally, I thought Scott looked kind of mad, i.e. madder than anyone else has, but maybe that’s just me. To be honest, I was more distracted by Ryan Seacrest’s white-suit-shiny-lavender-tie combo, which made him look like a cross between Mr. Roarke from Fantasy Island and Carson from Queer Eye. Maybe lavender is the new black?
In other news, my cake obsession continues. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Last night we were at Whole Foods for dinner, and afterwards, I had to pick up a few items. Got my bananas, some beer, you know, the basics, and then I’m passing by this dessert case and I see…carrot cake. By the slice. (This being whole foods, it was $2.99 a slice, but I digress.) So I think, yum, carrot cake, but keep walking, all the way to the register, at which point I turn BACK around because now I’m officially obsessed and Must Have It. What was I thinking? I have no idea. But let me tell you: that was good carrot cake. With the cream cheese icing? Oh, my God. Maybe I have some weird cake craving sickness. Do such things exist?
Yesterday, I was hanging out with my friend Carla and I told her about my cake issues. I was telling her how weird I thought it was, going on and on, but when I was done she just nodded. “Cake is the perfect food,” she said, wistfully. “You can eat it pretty much anytime. Breakfast, lunch….” So clearly, I am not alone. Life is hard. Maybe we just NEED cake. There are worse habits to fall into, I guess.
Finally, some (non-cake related) good news from the world of cinema: honesty about movie showtimes. You know how frustrating it is to rush to a movie so you don’t miss the previews—and I love previews—only to find yourself watching fifteen minutes of Coke commercials beforehand? Yeah, me too. But apparently, at least one theater chain is coming clean to tell us when the movie ACTUALLY starts, as opposed to when the commercials do. It’s probably too much to ask, but can we have a preview commencement time, as well? Like: commericals at 6:45, previews at 6:56, movie at 7. Plan your night accordingly. Perfect, right? But I guess you can’t have everything. As George Carlin says, if you did, where would you put it?