I know that you all are just so used to me keeping this journal very intellectual, high-minded, full of thought-provoking commentary and discourse. So it will be shocking to you that I begin today with a bit of celebrity gossip, if only because last night, when I saw it on some website, I thought, “No way, this has to be a joke.” But it isn’t: Renee Zellweger married Kenny Chesney. I don’t mean my shock as an offense to either. It’s just this is not a couple you’d put together on your own. Renee, in her couture gowns and adaptations of literary novels; Kenny, who has a song called “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy.” Yikes! What is Jack White thinking, I wonder? I guess we’ll never know.
As long as we’re down here in the gossip, might as well mention that Jennifer Garner is pregnant. Happy news for her and Ben Affleck, who I love. It surprises me, I have to say, how many people don’t like Ben Affleck these days. Is it the whole Bennifer thing? I’ve always thought he was funny and, while not in the best movies all the time, worth watching in many that he’s done, particularly the early ones, like Dazed and Confused. Plus if you watch him on Project Greenlight he’s hilarious and just seems like a real person. I, too, was disgusted by the hand-over-J.Los-rear-end in the “Jenny from the Block” video, and he lost my respect for a moment. But I forgave him. I couldn’t help myself. And while I don’t know much about Jennifer Garner, she seems like a sweet girl, and I loved 13 Going on 30. So there you have it: don’ t know either of them, impressions entirely based on fictional characters they’ve played and bad videos. But I approve. For what it’s worth.
The celebrity thing is just so funny to me. The other night we had friends over, and inevitably the talk turned to star gossip—as it tends to do when you have copies of US Weekly with Brad and Angelina on the cover laying around, as I do. When I brought up Jennifer Garner being pregnant, no one was surprised, although I had been. Like it was old news, and I’d missed it. I was like, no way! I am more informed than ANYONE! I read US, and Gawker, and Google Entertainment News. I am up to the minute! But clearly, with the internet, it’s a lot easier these days to keep up on the scandals as they happen. Still, I had an idea a couple of years back I still think would work. To do a daily email service, something you’d subscribe to for a few bucks, for people who DON’T keep up with this stuff but also don’t want to be the only one at the water cooler who doesn’t know who Eva Longoria is or who she’s dating at the moment. For a simple fee, you’d sign up, and receive each day a summary of the latest gossip, quick recaps of what happened on the shows everyone is talking about, and any other things you should know about (like Paula Abdul popping up on SNL this past weekend). Books and movies in the news would be covered, too. So simple right? And then you’d be armed with all you’d need—or totally don’t need., depending on how you look at it–to converse with the pizza man about Jennifer Aniston, or your teenage daughter about Adam Brody. I STILL think it would work. Maybe I’ll take it on, as a second career?
*reads over entry*
Or…maybe I already have? Oops.