Another afternoon entry: see how I switch things up? Actually, it’s not intentional as much as necessary, as I keep having to be out of the house WAY early in the morning for various reasons. After a short lull after the holidays, things are getting busy again: I’ve had some meetings to go to, big time errands to run, and on Monday, I started dog class with Coco.
For the first class, you come without your dog, and I was late. Let me say: I am never late. Never! (Okay, maybe sometimes. But ask anyone who knows me, I am for the most part a very prompt person). Anyway, so this was the exception to the rule, and now I am sure I will be known by the class as Late Girl, even if I show up before everyone else next week (which you know I will, to compensate). But anyway.
So we’re all there in dog class, sitting in a circle, and we have to go around and explain about our dogs and why we think they’ll benefit from the class. Let me just say this: I taught writing classes (also the sitting in a circle, get to know you kind of thing) for eight years, and I’ve spent much of the last ten years getting up in front of people and talking. So why, WHY, when it was my turn, was I nervous? And why, WHY, was I nervous when we had to do a little exercise, where one of us played the dog and one the trainer and I was the trainer and was terrible at it? WHY?
I have no idea. But I was. Totally blushing flushing stammering nervous. What does this mean? That unless the subject is me or my books I’m a wreck? Apparently so. Or maybe I was still freaking about the late thing. Whatever the reason, I came home thinking, I can’t do this. Which is of course ridiculous, because I can. Especially since I am determined this year not to avoid things because they feel uncomfortable, or take me out of my happy place, but specifically BECAUSE of those reasons because that, my friends, is called living. Right?
But I’ll still be there early. I can’t help myself. Sigh.