This week has been busy, one of those running-around-madly-no-time-to-do-anything-well kind of stretches. I am looking forward this weekend to just S-L-O-W-I-N-G down, if at all possible. But that, like so much else, is always hard for me.
I have forever been a multitasker, never been very good at sitting quietly in one place and just being still. I think some of this is hereditary: my mother is also not so great at relaxing, and when we’re together, watch out. Our combined buzzing energy could provide power to a small country. I’ve realized in the last year or so, though, that constantly being in motion or distracted is not good for my health, so I’ve been trying to take steps to change. For instance, I’m making an effort not to do four things at once anymore: if I’m reading a magazine, that’s all I’m doing, instead of reading a magazine with the TV on while thinking about everything I have to do tomorrow. Likewise, if I go somewhere, like to an appointment, and have to sit and wait, my first instinct is always to keep busy: I’ll check my phone messages, mess with my Palm Pilot, start yet another list. It is HARD to just sit, instead, and do nothing, but I am working on it.
A few months back I tried acupuncture for the first time. It doesn’t hurt (if you were wondering): they just put the needles in various places, then dim the lights and leave you for a few minutes to rest. The first time, I freaked out. What was I supposed to do for fifteen to twenty minutes, in a semi-lit room, by myself? With nothing to read and no one to talk to? I was sure I couldn’t make it, and it WAS hard. But then, the next time, it got a little easier, then a little easier still, until I was at the point where I could feel myself completely mellowing out. Which, if you’re me, is a relatively new feeling. Wow. So this is what all those happy hippie types feel like on a regular basis? Imagine that.
Of course, I’m not saying I could ever be a happy hippie type. It still takes just about all I have not to constantly check my email, or think sixteen weeks ahead in terms of my calendar, or even, on a bad day, just breathe. I am still the kind of person that total strangers will peg as the nervous type. But at least I’m making an effort, right? And all those emails and voicemails can wait. Maybe I won’t even check them again today.
…or, maybe I will. I have to! But only a couple of times. Three, max. Or four. With lots of breathing in between.
have a good day, everyone!