For Valentine’s Day, I bought my dogs some new toys. (Yes, I buy my dogs gifts on the holidays. Yes, I know this is ridiculous. Moving on!) So I bought two things: one new stuffed toy, and one new Nylabone, the kind that’s covered with little bumps that are supposed be good for their gums, so it’s like fun AND tooth decay prevention at the same time. I gave the bone to Monkey first, and he completely hoarded it (as is his way) while Coco stood off to the side whining and watching it longingly. At one point, he got up to go investigate some noise outside, and she snatched it up, only to have it reclaim it when he returned. Seconds later, while I was washing dishes, I looked up: the bone was already shredded, the little bumps scattered all over my carpet. People: this was literally fifteen minutes after I gave it to them. Honestly! Why is it some dogs can play gently with a toy for months, while others rip anything you give them to shreds in seconds? Pretty soon the only toy Monkey will be able to have is a concrete slab. And where’s the fun (or dental benefit) in that?
Meanwhile, with Valentine’s and all, I’ve been thinking a bit about couples, and how many seem to be breaking up right now. For instance, Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong. This happened awhile back but I’ve been in such denial about it, hoping they’d suddenly reconcile, I haven’t even wanted to address it. But then I saw Sheryl on the Ellen show, and she sang the saddest song, and she looked lovely, and I just kept thinking MAN that must be hard. I mean, any of us get our heart broken and we can at least sit home in our jammies, not wash our hair and eat Bugles all day long. But if you’re Sheryl Crow, you have to go on national TV and discuss your broken heart with millions of people watching. She did really well, though. You know, I’d seen a couple of things about them breaking up on various blogs, but I didn’t want to believe it. Does this mean that all the other rumored breakups have some truth to them, as well? Like Britney and Kevin? Or Tom and Katie? I hope not. Of course, I’m not helping by adding to the discussion by talking about it here. So I’ll shut up. Right now.
Speaking of Tom Cruise, though, I had a total moment the other night when I realized I am ENTIRELY too knowledgeable about celebrity culture. (As if the above paragraph was not evidence enough.) I was over at a friend’s, and we were discussing something having to do with movies, and my friend Dana said that Tom Cruise was Canadian. I said he was not. She said she was sure he was. I said I was equally sure she was wrong. “Wanna bet?” she asked. Then she stuck out her hand.
Let me just say, people: I am not sure about a lot of things. In fact, I hardly ever will debate anything with anyone, because even if I’m relatively certain about something, I am rarely betting-money-sure. But I KNEW that Tom Cruise was not Canadian. Why? Because I’ve probably read 1,298 articles about him in my life (subscriber to People, EW, Vanity Fair, etc) and not ONE had mentioned this. So I bet her she was wrong. Up we went to the computer, to IMDB, where it said that while he had gone to school in Canada, he was not native born. Yes!
So that was nice. Upon further reflection, though, I realized that it’s kind of sad I can be so sure about my Tom Cruise basics but still somehow unable to even argue a simple political point for fear of having my facts wrong. Maybe, once again, this means I should be reading more encyclopedias and less EW. Or maybe, my faith in my Tom knowledge can be a springboard to all kinds of confidence in discussions.
Or, not. Most likely, I’ll just remain the person that people call when they’re arguing about who J. Lo has been married to, and they’re too lazy to look it up on the Internet. There are worse things, I guess. We all have our strengths.