Last entry for the week, as tomorrow I am leaving for an actual….vacation. No, really! It’s hard to even write that, to be honest, as I’ve been so busy working, working, working that I don’t even know if I can remember what it’s like to not be chained to the computer. I’m not even bringing a laptop with me. (I got nervous just writing that, no joke. See how bad things are?)
The sad truth is that, left to my own devices, with good reason to do so, I can get into a serious rut. Even worse? I don’t even REALIZE it as a rut. I just call it a schedule, and wonder why people think it’s weird that I go entire days without leaving the house or talking to anyone but my dogs (and my characters: I don’t know which is worse, really). But now, my cousin is getting married, and I am going, and that is just that. Not only out in the world, but in another state! With other people! I just hope I can handle the transition. It’s like when astronauts come back from space, and their entire bodies have to readjust. Here’s hoping I can do it.
Also causing me some separation anxiety—aside from my laptop—is not being here in NC for the next game for my Tarheels, which is on Thursday night.(Oops! It’s Friday, sorry!) At 9:57 pm. I mean, hello! I know I’m old, and go to bed entirely too early, but isn’t that an awfully late tip-off time? Which means even if I AM up—and I’m going to be, right, because I’m on vacation!—it’s going to be harder to find someone to watch with me. Living here in Chapel Hill, you just assume people are invested in the outcome of UNC games, whether they’re cheering for or against us. But in other states, you sometimes stumble across something unheard of in these parts: indifference. Here’s hoping there’s at least someone at the hotel bar with UNC going on to the next game in their bracket, or else I’m going to have to be all nervous alone. (Which pretty much sums up my rut of the last few weeks, now that I think about it. Hmmmm.)
Plus, Grey’s Anatomy is new on Thursday, so I’ll be missing that, and what if my husband eats all the cupcakes? What if I really, really miss my dogs, now that I am used to spending most of my time with them? What if I forget something important, and they don’t have it there? (No, I can’t think of anything either, but panic isn’t logical, right?) See, THIS is why I need to go away more. Because it’s like anything else: stop doing it for too long, and you get rusty, and starting up again is tough. So today, I will drag out my suitcase, and pack, and kiss my dogs, and tell my husband the cupcakes are all his. And then I’ll go, and relax, and enjoy myself, and be glad that I don’t have a computer with me, so I can be fully free of all work stress, and email, and everything else.
Although, um, I MIGHT check in via my cellphone. You know, just in case there’s something that can’t wait. And, possibly, to check the scores. But that’s IT. I think.
Small steps, small steps. Takes longer, but you do get there.