Tonight is a blue moon, which—according to Sam Champion—I now know means a second full moon in a month’s time. And here, thanks to Grease, I thought all this time that it was something else. Maybe even something dirty? But no. See, you learn something new everyday.
So there is NOTHING on TV these days. Nothing! It’s like feast then famine, going from all those season finales to a steady diet of reruns. So depressing. Last night, I watched Because I Said So, a movie I’ve been meaning to see forever. It wasn’t great, but Mandy Moore was Oh So Cute (I love to see her in something where she gets to be funny AND gets a lot of screen time) and I loved, loved, LOVED seeing Lauren Graham, especially considering I’m in Gilmore withdrawal. LG needs a good starring role in something, stat. And on the big screen (okay, in movies, as I watched this one on my TV) she’s even more beautiful, which doesn’t even seem possible. Then, once that was over, I started flipping channels, looking for something, anything, to watch. It should tell you how desperate times are that I almost stopped on Celebrity Fit Club (who knew the guy who played Screech was so difficult?) but instead ended up on a show called Most Outrageous Moments.
It was kind of a blooper show, although not just TV bloopers, but ones from the news, and home videos. Basically, it seemed like someone was sent to those archives full of video of old Newlywed Games, people falling off of ladders and waterskiing accidents and told to cobble an hour’s worth of material together. There was no host, and the voiceovers were just odd. Plus, some of the clips weren’t funny as much as horrifying: people falling off cars ONTO THEIR HEADS! Roofs falling on PEOPLE’S HEADS! People dancing, then falling onto THEIR HEADS! It should have been called Concussions: As They Happen. I just kept cringing and having to cover my eyes. (So much for the media blackout to alleviate my anxiety. Good Lord.) At least America’s Funniest Home Videos shows cute things, like babies falling asleep in their food. This was just plain disturbing.
Finally, because I’ve been doing a lot of complaining in this space lately (and even in this entry, actually) I have to give something a plug: Zappos.com. Now, I know people who love this site the way I love Tivo and Luke Perry, which is to say beyond all measure, and I’m beginning to get why. On Tuesday, at about four pm my time, I bought a pair of sandals. They offer free overnight shipping. By one thirty the next day, those sandals were on my porch. I mean, call me a cynic, but I was surprised. And IMPRESSED. Shoe shopping, as a rule, is much more fun when you get instant gratification, and this is pretty close. This could become a dangerous habit, I fear. Maybe not to the level of falling off waterskis ONTO MY HEAD, but close. Watch out!