It’s Sunday night, and I’m updating because honestly, I need a few minutes to focus on something other than dealing with my cranky toddler. The holidays make everyone a little tense, I know, but it seems—just based on my own personal experience—to be especially overwhelming for two year olds. Suffice to say that I THINK she broke her record for whining today, clocking in at over a half hour straight. I had to take myself outside and count to ten, and I wish I could say it was the first time over this long holiday weekend. Honestly, I know I have said this before, but I don’t know how you full time stay at home moms and dads do this. I will be so happy to see my sitter tomorrow afternoon that I may just burst into tears at the sight of her. Hopefully not, as it would probably scare her. But you get the idea.
(I hesitated to even post the above paragraph, as I feel like it makes me look like a bad mom. It seems so effortless for a lot of people, or at least not this hard. But I look at parenting the way I do writing: I’m honest about how challenging it is for me. If it’s not for you, I admire you greatly. And I wish I was you. But this is me, and I’m counting to ten, whether over whining or plotting frustrations. And that’s okay. I hope.)
Tantrums and meltdowns aside, it really WAS a great Christmas. We had good food and good times with all our families (except those who couldn’t be around my sick husband and child: we hope to catch up with them when we are germ free, if and when that ever happens). My husband bought me a kick-ass pair of cowboy boots, so I can totally channel Tammi Taylor and Lyla Garrity, and I got some gift cards to hopefully put towards a new desktop for my office sometime soon. My daughter LOVED Christmas and we now have even more plastic stuff than before. The craziest thing, though, is that for all I (and everyone else) spent on her—tent, blocks, tons of books, play camera—her favorite toy of all was this five dollar plastic tentacle ball I got at Target. She’s obsessed with it. Second best? A ninety-nine cent Slinky. Gotta love that.
Now, there’s four days until 2010 begins, so I’m thinking about my resolutions. First up: healthier living. Which means no popcorn or chips before bed, and trying to cut back on the desserts and maybe the red wine. (Note: I said MAYBE.) Also, I want to do more for my dogs, who I feel have been neglected for the past two years. Just more walks, more cuddle time, more pats on the head, that kind of thing. I also want to try and spend more time with my girlfriends, because every time I do I feel SO much better about everything. It’s like a tonic, I swear, and I just need to make the effort to try to set things up more often, even if does mean sitters or NASA-level scheduling. What else? I want to stop sighing loudly so much (my husband tells me I do this constantly) and maybe lose that last seven pounds of my pregnancy weight I’m still carrying around. Oh, and I’d really like to see at least five movies, in the theater, with popcorn, this year. Which would be five more than I have in the last twelve months.
That’s the start of my list, anyway. I’ve learned not to make resolutions that are too hard to do….which is probably why that six pounds won’t make the final list. I guess my resolution, as always, is really just to try and be a better person all around. That’s just vague enough to work. Not specific enough? Okay, I’ll try to floss more and curse less. Done!