Even before I had a kid, I thought that being a stay at home parent had to be the hardest job in the world. Now that I’ve been enduring various babysitter crises and having to do the full-time Mom thing for the last couple of days, I know it for SURE. Whoa. At one point this afternoon, at the sandbox, when I was seeing double I was so tired, head reeling from everything I have to do workwise that just Will Not Get Done Today, all I could think about were my friends and cousins who have been doing this for years, with multiple children, and do it so well. They are total rock stars and I don’t tell them that enough. I have a feeling I’m going to be sending out a group email before this day is over. If I don’t fall asleep while I’m typing this.
Oh, it will all get done. Somehow. How will it? I think of that quote from Shakespeare in Love: “I don’t know. It’s a mystery!” What I do know is that last night, when I was having a total Calgon-take-me-away swirling breakdown about the lack of writing I’ve been able to get done in the last week or so, I literally could feel myself about to hyperventilate. I AM working on a book, I DO want to get it done so I can tell you all about it, but life keeps throwing up these little detours in front of me. I am trying to remind myself that everything happens for a reason, but it’s a little hard to be so circumspect and calm when I feel like I’m walking in quicksand. Anyway, so I’m having my little meltdown, and my daughter is playing with her doctor’s set in the playroom. “Mama,” she says, coming out with the stethoscope around her waist (which is how she chooses to wear it) “I need to listen to your heart.” So I lean down, she puts it to my stomach (also her method), listens, and says, “Your heart is strong like a drum!”
Where did she get this? No idea. Either a book or Max and Ruby or Olivia, most likely. But it was, really, just what I needed to hear. Your heart is strong like a drum. You’re healthy, you’re here. So what if a book is late, or not perfect, or the wash doesn’t get folded, or phone calls returned. So what if a reader emails you complaining that you haven’t updated your website since November 2009. Your heart is strong like a drum. Tomorrow is another day. Just hang in there.
I have a feeling this is a lesson my full-time parent friends probably learned a long time ago. I guess I’m a slow learner? At least I’m learning, though.
Now, I’m going to pour myself a glass of wine, pop open a string cheese and try to breathe. I’m a Southern girl, and after all, we are BRED to believe tomorrow is another day…..