So yesterday, I was having one of those days of frustrations. The kind of where it seemed like everything I touched either broke, collapsed or burst into flames. (Okay, maybe not flames. But you get the idea.) My printer totally died, so I brought out an older one and plugged IT in, and then it died as well. Then the first one mysteriously began working again, but only across the room. My stapler collapsed, my address book went haywire, and for no reason I walked into the wall and banged my shin, hard. I mean, really? A quick perusal of my Twitter feed made it clear that it wasn’t just me that was having a hard time: everyone seemed to be frazzled and stressed. So I chalked it up to some aspect of the universe being out of whack and hoped for a better day today.
Then, this morning, the first two stories on GMA are these: 1) the flight attendant who totally lost it, yelled at passengers, then PULLED THE EMERGENCY SLIDE, grabbed a beer, slid down and walked to his car and 2) video of some woman pulling up to a McDonald’s, not getting the McNuggets she wanted, and going totally ballistic, attacking the employee there and BREAKING THE DRIVE THRU WINDOW. What is happening to us as a people? Are we really this high strung that it comes to such crazy measures? Apparently I am not the only one in need of some centering and downward dogs. People: let’s just all take a breath and calm down. Collectively. Okay? One, two, three.
Seriously, though, I am sure that flight attendant is already booked on Oprah. Talk about tapping into the national mood: who HASN’T had a day that wished they could jump down the emergency slide and escape? Especially when you’re dealing with airlines and airports, an exercise in frustration if there ever was one. I’m sure he is already a folk hero to people trapped in delays or sitting on runways everywhere. Everyone loves the person who does the one crazy thing they wish they could, but would never actually attempt, right?
Closer to home, my hero is my former babysitter Barrett, who moved to Austin, TX recently and ALREADY has been an extra on the last season of Friday Night Lights, currently filming. So not fair! I almost collapsed from jealousy when I heard this from her sister, who also told me that Barrett was THISCLOSE to Tim Riggins (!!!) and also reported that Coach Taylor is even better looking in person. (And yes, I know that these are actors and not real people. I really do.) Oh, my God. If you think I didn’t go and see how much it would cost to fly to Austin right this very second, then you do not know what a freak I am for my FNL. But then I remembered about The Great Disruption, and how I can’t exactly just vanish and leave my husband to deal with the floor refinishing and the baby and the dogs while I go chase my dream of meeting Tim Riggins and Coach Taylor. I mean, that WOULD be like pulling the emergency slide. Oh, well.
I’m going to breathe now. And try to print and staple something. Wish me luck!