Questions…

Regular readers will remember that occasionally—as in, when I’m lacking any ability to do a cohesive entry–I will pose questions that are currently on my mind. Are they rhetorical? Answerable? Life-defining? No. But here they are anyway:

1. How is it possible that one of the acts that performed on the VMAs, Florence and the Machine, I have never even HEARD of? Seriously. Not just haven’t heard the music, but was unaware of their entire existence. For someone who reads as much entertainment news as I do, that’s quite a feat. MTV, you win. I’m officially out of touch.

2. Should I be embarrassed that it actually took me THIS long to be offended by Jersey Shore? Last season they were at least unknowns and pretty much just hurting each other. But the way the guys are treating women down in Miami, and talking about women? Not good, folks. I love trashy reality TV as much as anyone but lately this show just gives me the shudders. It’s unsettling and makes me feel bad. I don’t need TV for that. I have plenty of my own issues more than capable of the job.

3. Will my daughter ever be potty trained? In a related question, is it possible to outsource the teaching of it, for all of our sanity? I have read books and articles, tried all different approaches. She’s not into it. Everyone keeps telling me to relax (everyone is always telling me to relax, though) and saying, “She won’t go off the college in diapers.”

4. On a related note, can I get that in writing? Please?

5. Does anyone else always feel, without fail, incredibly unfashionable during Fashion Week? It’s like an annual reminder that I am not tall, willowy or well dressed. Also, not glamourous. This is not news, of course, but thank you, New York Times coverage, for hitting it home.

6. Speaking of fashion, what do you think the chances are of me finding a way to get Santino and Austin to help me pick out my book release day outfit? I am so into their new show. Really, though, I just want to sit with Austin and watch him do…well, anything, really. He’s like this exotic creature. I’d watch him read the phone book and it would STILL be more entertaining than Jersey Shore lately.

7. Does anyone else fear that Bravo is dangerously close to becoming The Real Housewives Channel? Quick, put on some more food or design shows before it’s all hair extensions and catfights!

8. Will I ever find a lipstick I love as much as Emily by Stila, which has now been discontinued? I fear not, and I am nothing if not a girl of habit. Once I like something, I always like it. Unless it’s Jersey Shore, apparently.

9. How long does it take for you to retrain yourself as to where something you use every single day is located? We moved our water crock and stand across the kitchen a few weeks back, away from where it’s been for ten years. I thought it would take a few days to get adjusted but I am STILL WALKING OVER THERE every single time I want a drink. It’s like Who Moved My Cheese, illustrated. Another reason to keep things the same…

10. When will I be able to share with you the cover, and details, of my new book? Your guess is as good as mine. But hopefully, SOON. Also soon I will share my super awesome promotion I’m going to be doing for my website. Here’s a hint: it’s blue and it’s FAAAAAST! Any guesses?

Have a good night, everyone!