procrastination.

Yeah, I need to start writing on a regular schedule again. Discipline is, for me, the hardest and MOST crucial part of the writing process. I have said before I am not and will never be the kind of author that glides to the computer, effortlessly, and cranks out prose on a regular basis. I drag. I dawdle. I moan and groan and read too much Google News. I eat chocolate. But eventually, I usually buckle down and get to it. For me it is a lot like working out, which I ALSO never want to do. But once I am running, or writing, I am so glad I forced myself. Still, you’d think it would get easier. You’d be wrong.

Now I have something else to distract me, which is my newfound enthusiasm for making balloon animals. Yes, you read that right. What? You didn’t know that since my daughter started asking me about how to make them, I have been watching Malik the Magic Guy on YouTube on a regular basis? That I have figured out wiener dogs, and giraffes, and flowers, and some versions of hats? Well: now you do. I have no idea why this appeals to me. But it does. The only part I don’t like is the spontaneous, unexpected popping, but as Malik, my new role model, says in one of his videos, “You have to get over the fear. Some will pop.” It is true for balloons and life in general, I think, as well as writing. The fear is what makes me stall and drag and surf the internet. The fear is what makes me wince as I twist the bubbles necessary to make the Bear balloon animal, my hardest challenge so far. And when they pop, or the book screeches to a halt, it’s terrifying. But you have to push through. Blow up another one, take a deep breath, rewrite the last paragraph or chapter or, um, the entire second half of the book (as I had to do with What Happened to Goodbye, actually).

So today, when I really NEEDED to be starting back on my work in progress, I was instead trying to figure out how to do a full Bear without the whole thing popping in my face. It is not easy! But I am determined. So much so that my husband has voiced concerned that I am getting “obsessed,” and “too carried away,” asking when am I going to “put that stupid balloon down and come over and sit on the couch, please?” Also, it is scaring my dog Monkey, who does not like loud noises. So I have been exiled to my office or outside. Luckily, my daughter is happy to keep me company. Thank goodness I have SOMEONE’S support. Then again, her birthday is coming up and it is my goal to be able to make animals for her friends. Will I get odd looks from the other parents? Definitely. Will it be the first time? Nope.

Okay, I have to practice my bears. Then, try a poodle. Oh, and write my novel too. Sigh….

Look! Best bear so far…..

 

Have a good night, everyone!