In Blog

You know what I really, really hate?

Littering.

God! I saw this woman litter today. Now, first off let me say that North Carolina has a bad reputation for littering. Our highways are lined with trash. So I’m fully aware that someone is putting it there: I mean, fast food containers don’t get there by themselves. But it’s been ages since I’ve actually SEEN anyone litter. But today, on my way home, I saw this lady roll down her window, drop out a McDonald’s cup, and roll her window back up. It was BLATANT. In broad daylight. And she felt no shame, believe me.

I.was.so.mad. And I’d love to say I pulled over, retrieved her cup, and then followed behind her, waiting for the next stoplight so that I could walk up to her, knock on her window, and hand it back to her with a snarl, but I didn’t. (I have actually seen someone do this before, however.) Instead I just drove on feeling my blood pressure rise, always a good thing on a nice sunny Thursday.

I know I’m a little hypervigliant about this. I mean, in a perfect world no one would litter and everyone would recycle. Not recycling I can kind of understand, I mean, at least you’re still throwing things away properly, so it’s somewhat more okay. But there’s an inherent selfishness to littering that really pisses me off.

Here’s my theory. It’s probably not true but for some reason it makes me feel better. I believe that everything you throw out of your car, or drop on the ground, or otherwise avoid putting in a proper waste receptacle is put into a room somewhere in whatever your afterlife ends up being. So for eternity, you have to sit with your litter. If you haven’t done it much—and we’ve all done it at least once, I know that—it’s just a small pile that can be tolerated. But if you’re like the woman I saw today, you’re looking at a great hereafter cluttered with smelly, sticky trash. And no matter how pretty your heaven may be (this is totally nondenominational, of course) litter can ruin a view. Just ask anyone here in my lovely home state who has to drive down highways dotted with discarded mattresses, garbage bags, and beer cans.

Sorry for the rant. Sometimes I just can’t help it.

I’m going to go watch Oprah now, and try to calm my soul….