*takes deep breath*

Okay, fine. I watched. Couldn’t even try to front. (As someone put it.) And I was so, so happy to see Kelly win. I didn’t even feel that bad for Justin, because a) he’s already famous and it doesn’t even really matter in the long run that he didn’t technically win and b) he was doing that rhythmic knee-bend thing during the final song they sang together. So: no sympathy. None.

Could they have dragged it out any longer? I mean, God. I haven’t seen time creep so slowly since I was in seventh period biology in high school. Highlights included Paula Abdul’s outfit (which looked to be from the Britney Spears Not-A-Girl-Not-Yet-A-Woman collection) and the return of the UK Winner, right before Simon admitted that the talent is better over here. OUCH!

Drag, drag, drag. They wanted to sell us lots of Coke and Ford Focuses (Foci?) so we met the tech crew, saw the craft services table, went back to the high schools, and endured the scathing shame of the early contestants, now ranked so we all know who sucked the worst. (That was the reason I wasn’t watching early on: I tried to, but it was just so humiliating. I felt bad for those people!)

And then, finally, the announcement. Thank God she won. She so deserved it.

So it’s over. I can now reclaim my Tuesday and Wednesday nights, just in time for….what? The new fall season, I guess. But there doesn’t seem to be that much to look forward to, I have to say. Friends and Will and Grace, that’s about it. Maybe I should just give up TV altogether. Think of how much I’d get done. How many more books I could read. I could be all high and mighty and put one of those Kill Your Television stickers on my car.


But I hate those people. Like they’ve never watched Friends. Or ER. Or Trading Spaces. It all counts, you know.

have a good day….