Well, we’re on the brink of Winter Weather. Bring on the Southern hysteria.
We just can’t handle bad weather around here. Heat, oh, heat, we’re fine with. We can take on humidity with the best of them: we are professional sweaters, good at making it look like we’re just glowing and healthy, instead of on the verge of collapse. We pride ourselves in this. But snow and ice? Forget it.
A couple of years ago, we had this mammoth snowstorm. Three feet in twenty four hours or something. I was trapped in my house for FOUR DAYS. We have no snowplows. We have nothing. Except lots of air conditioning, which was no help at all, let me tell you. All the transplanted Northerners—and there are a lot of them—love to chuckle as they adjust their snow tires, saying, “You stupid Southerners can’t drive in snow to save your life” and you know what: they’re right. I mean, it’s not something we’ve had a lot of experience with. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people slide off the road, or through intersections, people who have no business driving in snow and ice.
What we all do, though, in bad weather, is panic and shop. The grocery stores, as I write this—with about three inches of snow/ice predicted for today and tomorrow—are stripped of bread and milk. Why bread and milk? I have no idea. But every time bad weather is predicted, the entire population of our state races out to buy these staples. God forbid you get snowed in and can’t have French Toast. Or something.
Anyway, that said, I kind of like bad weather. Because we can’t handle it, everything shuts down. Schools, offices, everything. We all just sit at home and wait it out, with our bread and milk, waiting for the thaw. Which is kind of fun, to be honest.
(I’m just hoping the power doesn’t go out. That is never fun.)
So now, I’m going to go out and run errands. I’ll bundle up, avoid the grocery store. (I have bread and milk, not that I’ll use them: staples for me are pimento cheese and crackers, and yes, I have those, thank God.) And I’ll watch the sky. For snow. Or ice. Or whatever. Bring it on!
have a good day, everyone…