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So does anybody like their cell phone service? I just got off the phone with Sprint PCS, where I had one of the most innane conversations ever. (Which for me, is really saying something.) I have wireless web on my phone, which I use all the time to check my email when I’m away from home. So about five or so days ago, I try to use it, and it’s not working. So I wait a little while, and then today, when it STILL wasn’t working, I called them.

The first guy I talked to said he’d connect me to the web folks, but first, did I want to increase my nighttime minutes? No, I said, I hardly ever use my phone (except to check my home voice mail and for the email thing, which isn’t working) and he says fine, then he’ll just transfer me to the web people. Then, in doing so, he hangs up on me. So I call back, work my way through the voice recognition menu (which is just so annoying, but that’s another rant) and I get this girl in Web issues. She has me take the battery of the back of my phone, and says in a minute and a half we’ll put it back on and try to connect to the Web. In the meantime, she says, all chatty, do you use your phone to call your friends a lot? I said—starting to get annoyed, because don’t you think they’d try to FIX the current problem before trying to sell you something else?—that I don’t use my phone much, I don’t want to change my plan. She says, “Oh, I wasn’t going to say that at all! All I was going to say is that we have this new promotion, voice recognition, and you can just tell your phone who to call and—” I said, “No, thanks, I’m not interested. I just want to fix the email thing.” So she relents, and we put the battery back on and try to connect. We can’t. She asks what the error code is, I tell her. And she says, “Oh, well that has to do with our main system, we’re upgrading. We’re not sure when it will be fixed.”

I said, “So you have, like, no idea?” No, she says, but it shouldn’t be too long. There’s nothing she can do. Is there anything else I need help with?

I’m totally cranky at this point, so I tell her no. And then, she asks me if I would mind, on a scale of one to ten, rating her service for me today.

The thing is, I was almost off the phone. I was. But this was an opening, so I took it.

I told her that I thought she was fine, she was just doing her job. But I thought the service of Sprint was a zero, and that if I’m paying for a service, which they cannot provide AND can provide no end date to when it might be back online, that was just bad business. That if they really gave a crap about me, the customer, they’d AT LEAST be offering to prorate the days I’d been out of service and credit it back to my bill.

“You know,” she said, “that’s actually a really good idea!”

I swear, I took the phone away from my ear. Looked at it. Put it back. I said, “You know, it’s also an obvious one. And you’re working for a multimillion dollar corporation that employs thousands of people. I am one person. And if I had this idea, you know someone there did as well. It’s not like I’m some sort of freaking genius. They just don’t want to offer that. Or they would. I mean, hello?”

At this point, she’s laughing. I bet she hates her job. I know I hate her employer. I could tell she felt bad for me, even as she was giggling, so I told her to have a good day and let her go. But I’m still annoyed. Can you tell? And I even went to yoga today! Imagine how stressed I’d be if I hadn’t done that!

*takes a deep cleansing breath*

Anyway. Enough complaining, life is too short. I’l talk about something good, or something not totally great but so fun: Dodgeball. The movie. We went to see it last night and while it gets off to a slow start (at least I thought so) I ended up loving it. You kind of have to be a Ben Stiller/Vince Vaughn fan, but I am, and I thought it was hysterical. Seriously. And the best part? Lance Armstrong pops up at one point, which made my husband’s day. We love us some Lance. And you know, Lance is a fighter. He wouldn’t take this crap from Sprint PCS.

I’m so annoyed I wish I could hit them in the head with a dodgeball. THWAP! A little playground retribution, like in the old days. Talk about customer service. It just might work. At any rate, I’d feel better. Much.

have a good day everyone!